An update on my monkeys

Hi All!

I haven't blogged in a long time; there hasn't been a lot to say. Today I thought I would just share a bit of zen with you all.

The last few months have been very work focused, I have had a huge mark load and I really wanted to work through it before my cycle began so I could remain calm. That is my focus for this cycle: ZEN!

A few months ago I blogged about monkeys. Monkeys being your stresses, worries, concerns, chores and anything else that makes you feel like a headless chicken. So my mission was to become monkey free in time for the dreaded two week wait.

It has to be said that there are some monkeys that you can get rid of with some hard work and focus. I spent hours marking, making lists of things I needed to do and just doing them. Simple, but time consuming. The problem with these types of monkeys is they keep appearing, as fast as you get rid of one  another one appears. This led me to the realisation that zen is all in the mind. It is pointless worrying about how much you have to do. If you look at it all in one go it is daunting and depressing, so I am trying not to with a series of questions:
What needs to be done?
When does it need to be done?
How long will it take?
What are the consequences of not doing?
Am I putting me first or someone else?

In terms of work I am trying to remember that it is my JOB, not my LIFE. My students are very important to me but the world is not going to end if I take a few weeks to mark their essays. My colleagues are not going to shout at me if I reply to an email the next day (Bye bye emails to phone), and if they do SO WHAT?

Another thing is actively trying to relax. In the evenings I often do housework, then marking, then dinner, then more marking or emails etc then end up in bed without really thinking about it. For the last three weeks this has not happened. I have made time for me and I have relaxed. The lovely @IVFStory kindly sent me her Zita West CD and on many occasions I have taken myself to bed, put the CD on and listened to her calming words until I have fall asleep.

As for the MASSIVE monkeys (infertility, family and such like), well I'm doing something about those to. Monday night is counselling night. I have told my counsellor things I didn't even know I remembered and I have thought by life as a whole. It is a really tough process and often I am left driving home in floods of tears but I have decided this is good. Out with the old and in with the new.

So baby, there is room for you now!

p.s. I begin Gonal F tomorrow!